Do you know why angels can fly? Because they take themselves lightly!
It was 1983, and during the previous eight years it seemed that I had done almost every available
self-improvement, metaphysical, or spiritual seminar available. I had done est, Mind Freedom,
Insight, Loving Relationships Training and many other one-day or one-evening seminars. My parents
had been active with me and I had done a lot of "work" with them. Yet, people still said to me,
"You're angry." and they often suggested it had to do with mom and dad. I didn't think so and yet
I didn't know what to do with their feedback. Then someone recommended that I do a workshop
offered in Boulder, Colorado, by the Dreikurs Relationship Center, called "Understanding
Yourself and Others" (UYO). I wasn't too keen on one more workshop, yet I was eventually
talked into it.
When I returned from Colorado, people said to me, "You're different. I can't quite place it
- you're different." The angry edge had been softened by some intensive work on sibling rivalry
- my relationship with my sister - during the UYO weekend. The size of the group and individual
"turns" supported each student in getting to the issue at hand.
Mine was the rage that started with being replaced at age 3 by another being and the
competition between us that continued throughout my childhood. I made a deep shift by connecting
with those feelings, expressing them and completing that part of my life.
... people said to me, "You're different, I can't quite place it - you're different."
Well, my friends wanted some of what I had, and within two months we had a UYO in Milwaukee.
I went on to become an instructor for the weekend and wrote a facilitator training program for
their organization. For three years we had a UYO every month. The founders, Bill and Kath
Kvols-Reidler, were in the process of franchising their system and it became clear to me that
I would not make a good franchisee. I was too independent, I wrote a lot of my own programs and
needed the freedom to do my work, and we all know "you can't sell pizzas at McDonalds." So in
November, 1986, I left the Dreikurs organization and, with the help of some friends, wrote a new
weekend, named Taking It Lightly. Incorporating the best of what I had learned over eleven years
of my own work and intensive study, a weekend dedicated to aliveness and personal responsibility
was created. The Center for Creative Learning was born.
Once when writing a training proposal for the State of Wisconsin, I asked a therapist to name
some of the techniques used in the weekend. When used in therapy the techniques are called:
"Conflict Resolution, Self-Efficacy Training, Assertiveness Training, Individualized and Group
Assessment, Gestalt, Attribution Training, System Desensitization Training, Implosion,
Psychodrama, Catharsis, Social Skills Training, Cognitive Restructuring, Examination of Lifestyle
Convictions and Task and Goal Setting.” From a personal growth perspective, we use Reiki and
other healing techniques, as well as New Thought, NeuroLinguistic Programming, and Affirmations.
I would describe it as unconditional love, sometimes tough love, going for the bottom line and
then making and integrating new choices - all based on moving out of survival into aliveness;
out of victimhood into personal responsibility and being safe in feeling and expressing emotions."
Whatever it is called - it works!
A major focus of the work in Taking It Lightly is recognizing that we all made decisions as
children that were based on what we had observed about how to survive and be loved. Those
decisions were also about avoiding pain, usually by shutting down our emotions. As adults, we are
guided through life by those decisions, keeping us "safe." However, upon introspection, it becomes
clear that those decisions also keep us suffering from the past or in fear of the future,
limited in the experience and expression of all of our emotions in the present moment. Through
individual work and participating in the group during the weekend, each person has an
opportunity to make a new choice and integrate it, freeing up his or her emotions and aliveness.
This intense personal focus is possible because each weekend is limited to twelve students and
staffed by almost as many assistants and instructors.
The student “team” itself is also an important factor, because a group can do work that is not
possible in one-to-one counseling or therapy. Each team is "perfect" in its make-up - in each
weekend, the "right" person is there to represent mom, dad, a sibling or other significant player
in the scene about the decisions on which the students work. And there is always the safety and
support that comes from knowing that others have experienced similar pain and that one is not
alone in their pain and emotions.
Over the years Taking it Lightly has continued to grow and evolve. We have learned to
allow the students to choose their work and empower them to re-discover their emotions in an
environment of safety and support. We have become guides, facilitators and friends to those
who do the weekend. It is clear we are all students and teachers to each other. As we continue
to grow in clarity, Taking It Lightly is expanding its locations.
Today, the course is offered monthly in Milwaukee and five times per year in Detroit, Michigan.
The lives of thousands of individuals, ranging in age from 9 to 84 have been touched and
transformed as a result of . Communities have been created of empowered
people, committed to making a difference by being alive and responsible.
The success stories of closer families, more satisfying jobs, and more enjoyable lives are
too numerous to count. Other weekends have been inspired by Taking It Lightly, some offered by
other organizations, some are a part of the wide variety of programs offered at the Center for
personal and professional development.
There is an abundance of growth opportunities available; as I continue my work, I have become
convinced that each has its place and time. Taking It Lightly is a tool for
transformation, a unique tool that helps individuals produce quantum leaps in personal change.
For many, it has also been a powerful adjunct to their work with a therapist.
I remain committed to my own constant transformation, for I also know that I cannot take
anyone where I have not yet been.
In Illusions, Richard Bach wrote, "We teach what we most need to learn." I have often
been called to take life lightly, to love and take care of myself, to be honest and ask for
what I want, to go for the bottom line and make new choices for my future. Each weekend I am
confronted with remembering how much I have yet to learn, and I am kept humble in my teaching. I
remain committed to my own constant transformation, for I also know that I cannot take anyone
where I have not yet been. I invite you to join me on the adventure of self-discovery. Remember:
whatever you are doing, life is too serious to be taken so seriously.
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